SPOILER ALERT (Mike gets out of jail, but is it really surprising at this point? Really??)

Alright, suits was never famous for being an authentic representation of high law in New York city. Yet, we all have grown to love it for the way the two protagonists Mike and Harvey go about kicking everyone’s ass. They taken on every legal opponent that gets in their way be it the overzealous prosecutors at the SEC, or the AUSAs with all the weight of the US federal government behind them, or just the run of the mill corporate lawyers who have had the misfortune of crossing these two. They don’t seem to be in need of the countless man hours usually needed for any legal defense, nor the weeks and often months of preparation. All it takes of for our golden boy Mike to magically say phrases like “what did you just say”, or, “this just might work” or similar tired cliche, and whoa, they often end up with something to bully the crap out of their opponents and often settle out of court, or win on the second day of the trial without even going to a jury. I exaggerate, but you get my point.

Mike Ross having another Eureka moment. He will sort this case now with his clever ideas that no one else can think of

What did you just say!! Thanks for saying that thing that you just said which will help us win our case without any help from no damn paralegals nor any other lawyers. Just you, me, and the thing you just said.

Given how Mike isn’t even a lawyer, yet everyone who matters in his firm, from the impossibly efficient and smart Donna, who somehow is working as secretary of almost-a-docuhe-bag Harvey Specter, and cold and controlling managing partner ( don’t remember her name, don’t care), and everyone in between, know about he not attending college, much less Harvard law school. They not only give him a job at the company, but allow him to thrive and succeed ( mostly by saying those god-awful-phrases I mentioned earlier).

Sorry, I promised myself I won’t be debating the merits of the show itself, but I need to rant about the way Mike and Harvey, and the entire universe worked in unison to get Mike out of jail after serving about 10 days out of his two year sentence for being a fraudulent lawyer. We should only pray that prosecutors working for states and feds are not nearly as incompetent as Anita Gibbs, who had to settle for a two year sentence in almost a slam-dunk case of fraud, forgery, obstruction of justice, falsification of official records, misrepresentation, perjury, etc. etc. See, I am not even a lawyer and I could name half a dozen charges, and this is just for Mike. She could have charged the entire firm from top to bottom, and used leverage to get some of them to turn on others and pretty much destroyed their firm. But, that wouldn’t be fun, would it. She has to be stupid, so Mike and Harvey can bully out of this conundrum just like they always do. You remember that black dude who lies under oath that Mike attended Harvard. Given Mike admitted to his crimes, why didn’t Anita charge that dude for perjury. Because she is stupid and grossly incompetent, that’s why. You see, the best legal brains in NYC work for Harvey’s firm, and everyone else is just plain stupid. If you don’t get this by now, I am sorry but you are just as stupid. You are too.

I am a high profile prosecutor, but this Mike Ross's case is a tough one to crack. There seems to be a mountain of evidence to put all these assoles away, but my stupid brain can't seem to get a grip of it.

I am a high profile prosecutor, but this Mike Ross’s case is a tough one to crack. There seems to be a mountain of evidence to put all these assoles away, but my stupid brain can’t seem to get a grip of it.

Now that slap-on-wrist two years isn’t enough to make mockery of US justice system, the aforementioned universe intervenes to get him out within about 10 days of Mike beginning his sentence. First of all, that “Jail” he is sent to, please, it looks like a fucking library. I have seen more violent and dangerous pubs in upstate New York than that lousy excuse of a jail. Yes, federal white collar jails are supposed to be less of hellholes than the county and state prisons, but, this one looks more like a resort with grilled doors. Now, it just so happens that mikes roommate “Kevin”, who is doing time in a federal prison for a drunk driving charge, somehow, miraculously holds information required by the SEC to prosecute his father-in-law for insider trading, and a deal is offered to get Mike out, if only he could make Kevin talk and turn on his in-law. Well isn’t that Dandy!! Mind you, no one even thinks to include the prosecutor who put Mike away in the first place. No deal is ever made without inputs and permission from the prosecuting attorneys, but once again rules don’t apply to our golden boys. Also, just to add some gravity to the whole Mike is in danger situation, there is this dude, supposedly very dangerous and malicious, who was put away by, wait for it, Harvey Specter himself about a decade ago, is also doing time in a white collar prison. And just when that supposedly scary dude is threatening to kill Mike to get to Harvey, Mike happens to not only look at his case history, but find an error in his sentencing, and so graciously offers to help him get out prison, if only he would let him live while he does that. Man, what does the universe see in Mike that it aligns the whole damn stars to help our boy. The stupidest thing about this part of the show is, its alluded that the dangerous guy was informing on his fellow inmates to get his sentence reduced. So, why the hell does he need Mike’s help? Sorry, I forgot the prerequisite about checking my brain at the door before turning on this god-awful show.

Look at the shiny marble flooring on this jail. If only we were so lucky.

Look at the shiny marble flooring on this jail. If only we were so lucky.

So, my question to the writers of this show is, essentially what are they trying to prove? Is it OK to commit the most heinous kind of fraud so long as you have the right background, right sop story, and the right godfather like the douche-bag Harvey. Not once during the whole saga, do any of the characters on the show display the least amount of remorse. In fact, they act like it’s their god given right to do these things and get away with it. I am sorry but it makes me feel that the show actually imitates life in America where privilege and racial advantages dictate how the society treats you. To make matters worse, the scumbag Stanford swimmer who raped an unconscious woman on campus, and was sentenced to just 6 months in jail, actually got out in three months. How fucked up is that, and how much of a coincidence is it that the real life criminal (yes, his crime was much more vile and horrifying)  and the fictional Mike got out of jail within days of each other.

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